Too much to do, too much to think.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Dead and gone
Your funeral feels surreal. Faces from your past and present are suddenly all in the same place, smiling and crying and celebrating your life. Your loved ones are hugging each other and saying goodbye to you, but they haven’t really accepted yet that you’re gone. They never really will. Your presence is still felt everywhere. When your loved ones squint they can almost see your fingerprints glowing on everything you touched. Doorknobs and light switches, shoelaces and silverware. It’s like you’re still here, just out of reach, and your voice is still so clear, just distant, coming from another room.
Your obituary seems uncanny, both unreal and hyperreal, like a piece of fiction that’s somehow become a fact. Your loved ones read it once, twice, again and again. They read between the lines. There are stories hidden within that brief paragraph. There are chapters. Volumes. So much goes unsaid. Your loved ones glance at all those other obituaries printed on the page and imagine all the other recently deceased out there, and all those other loved ones. They are strangers, united by grief. The living left behind by the dead.
And that’s what’s so strange too, that your death isn’t front page news. It’s buried in the obituaries section, the graveyard of the newspaper. Meanwhile the rest of the paper is tattooed with the usual ink stains. Weather and war, gossip and sports, op-eds and crosswords. Your death belongs with the puzzles: it’s a sudoku without any numbers, impossible to solve.
The world is cruel in its obliviousness. Offers for new credit cards addressed to you continue to arrive in the mail. They pile up in the recycling bin, unopened.
Your phone number is still saved in your loved ones’ cellphones. They’ll never delete it. Your email address still pops up in the To field, and it haunts them every time.
Photographs of you take on more weight. A 5×7 inch glossy photo of your naturally smiling face weighs 3.5 ounces, but it may as well weigh a hundred pounds. Your joyful gaze transcends two dimensions.
Your emails become digital mementos. Every book you inscribed, every card you sent, every gift you gave takes on new gravity, exerting its own pull on the soul, a bittersweet black hole to be cherished from time to time, then placed back on the shelf. These objects can’t replace you, but their presence helps solidify your absence.
Your loved ones couldn’t forget you even if they tried. Artifacts are everywhere, scattered through the mundane world of sights and sounds. Your sandwich on the menu. Your song on the radio. At first the unexpected reminders sting, and your loved ones wish those things would respectfully disappear, wish restaurants would stop serving Reubens and radio stations would stop playing The Temptations. But eventually the sting lessens, until it barely feels like they’re being stung, and your loved ones order your favorite sandwich, and hum along to your favorite song.
Life goes on without you. Time doesn’t pause. Students go to school. Workers go to work. Meals get prepared and eaten. Money exchanges hands. Jokes are told. TV shows broadcast new episodes. Gas tanks get filled. Dishwashers get emptied. Dogs bark. Cats nap. Birds sing in trees. The sun rises and sets, rises and sets. Perhaps that’s the hardest thing of all to accept, that everything in the world just keeps on going without you in it.
Acceptance comes in slow stages over the months and years following your death, and nevertheless sometimes upon waking from a dream about you, it’s hard to believe you’re forever gone. The dream gets dismissed as just a dream even though a part of the dreamer knows it was you, saying hello.
You weren’t perfect. You were better than perfect. You were good. You were warmth and wit, kindness and integrity, welcoming arms after a long flight home. You loved this place, this planet. You loved it in a way that only you could, and your love lingers in everything you left behind. Your family and friends. Your work. Your books and movies and TV shows. Your food and music. Your house. Your neighborhood. Your evening walks. Your now empty shoes. Your expired passport, which took you everywhere.
You loved. You are loved. You will be missed
Credits to Sharon
Your obituary seems uncanny, both unreal and hyperreal, like a piece of fiction that’s somehow become a fact. Your loved ones read it once, twice, again and again. They read between the lines. There are stories hidden within that brief paragraph. There are chapters. Volumes. So much goes unsaid. Your loved ones glance at all those other obituaries printed on the page and imagine all the other recently deceased out there, and all those other loved ones. They are strangers, united by grief. The living left behind by the dead.
And that’s what’s so strange too, that your death isn’t front page news. It’s buried in the obituaries section, the graveyard of the newspaper. Meanwhile the rest of the paper is tattooed with the usual ink stains. Weather and war, gossip and sports, op-eds and crosswords. Your death belongs with the puzzles: it’s a sudoku without any numbers, impossible to solve.
The world is cruel in its obliviousness. Offers for new credit cards addressed to you continue to arrive in the mail. They pile up in the recycling bin, unopened.
Your phone number is still saved in your loved ones’ cellphones. They’ll never delete it. Your email address still pops up in the To field, and it haunts them every time.
Photographs of you take on more weight. A 5×7 inch glossy photo of your naturally smiling face weighs 3.5 ounces, but it may as well weigh a hundred pounds. Your joyful gaze transcends two dimensions.
Your emails become digital mementos. Every book you inscribed, every card you sent, every gift you gave takes on new gravity, exerting its own pull on the soul, a bittersweet black hole to be cherished from time to time, then placed back on the shelf. These objects can’t replace you, but their presence helps solidify your absence.
Your loved ones couldn’t forget you even if they tried. Artifacts are everywhere, scattered through the mundane world of sights and sounds. Your sandwich on the menu. Your song on the radio. At first the unexpected reminders sting, and your loved ones wish those things would respectfully disappear, wish restaurants would stop serving Reubens and radio stations would stop playing The Temptations. But eventually the sting lessens, until it barely feels like they’re being stung, and your loved ones order your favorite sandwich, and hum along to your favorite song.
Life goes on without you. Time doesn’t pause. Students go to school. Workers go to work. Meals get prepared and eaten. Money exchanges hands. Jokes are told. TV shows broadcast new episodes. Gas tanks get filled. Dishwashers get emptied. Dogs bark. Cats nap. Birds sing in trees. The sun rises and sets, rises and sets. Perhaps that’s the hardest thing of all to accept, that everything in the world just keeps on going without you in it.
Acceptance comes in slow stages over the months and years following your death, and nevertheless sometimes upon waking from a dream about you, it’s hard to believe you’re forever gone. The dream gets dismissed as just a dream even though a part of the dreamer knows it was you, saying hello.
You weren’t perfect. You were better than perfect. You were good. You were warmth and wit, kindness and integrity, welcoming arms after a long flight home. You loved this place, this planet. You loved it in a way that only you could, and your love lingers in everything you left behind. Your family and friends. Your work. Your books and movies and TV shows. Your food and music. Your house. Your neighborhood. Your evening walks. Your now empty shoes. Your expired passport, which took you everywhere.
You loved. You are loved. You will be missed
Credits to Sharon
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
19, almost there.
Awesome chocolate paradise cake from Angie the Choice which I ordered 3 days in advance! The chocolate gao lat! Wanted to get 19 durain puffs but not everybody like durains so chocolate cake! Just a 15cm cake. It was annoying cause It couldnt fit all 19 candles like I wanted it too.
It was a good surprise and luckily yesterday night the boyfriend was feeling lazy and didnt came to MBS to find me cause I was suppose to be at "work"
Initial plan was me who bring him down while Cheryl bring her boyf down to surprise together but wc had to tell me straight that he didnt want to go to Silvery Moon @ Pasir ris Park and 'go ECP sua'
Stunnedddddd. So had to ask wc's partner in crime to bring him down! First surprise was for Clarence then wc!
The waiting part was so nerve wrecking cause wc came in slightly later! He actually believe I was at work at MBS.
Planned this for 2 weeks and it turned out well! Happygirl93@tampines.com
Birthday boys and girlfs!
Wasnt ready and cut off the boy's face. hurhurhur
My order for that night! Which I feel was such a rip offfffffff. At least they got good drinks!
Gross blood clot
Bright red Paul Frank boxers I got for my dearest boyfriend! Me and my boxers fetish.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Silvery Moon
Surprise for the boyfriend and his good friend for 14 years was a success! Managed to pull everything off! Of course with the help of Tim and Cheryl!
Waited and planned two weeks for this and proud to say operation surprise for may babies: SUCCESS, Oh yeah.
Waited and planned two weeks for this and proud to say operation surprise for may babies: SUCCESS, Oh yeah.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Feel the love
Just spend the wednesday night with my dearest boyfriend. Dinner, walk and a little shopping(For my chinchilla heheh) Loving the night so far. I will have a goodnight rest tonight! Thank you my dear.
Meanwhile is Wednesday two more days till my rest day! Been OT extra 3hours on Monday and Tuesday! Very sleep deprived.
Press on.
Meanwhile is Wednesday two more days till my rest day! Been OT extra 3hours on Monday and Tuesday! Very sleep deprived.
Press on.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
1 week of visuals
5th May - Night Safari with family plus Enen! Almost 13 years ago since the last night I went there!
Sunset
Just look at enen!
"I am sexy and I know it"
Night Safari the name explains it all, cant take much photos, it was too dark. The animals were either sleeping or eating with their butts facing us. It was not what I expected it to be, maybe the Singapore Zoo would be a better choice! Next stop prolly the zoo and jurong bird park!
Dinner at Mandrain Hotel for some Peking Duck with the family!
Peking duck! ^^.
Liu sha bao! But this was meh, the one at Bao Today is better!
Got my airport pass and finally when in the transit area! It feels a little weird going in the transit area when you are not travelling overseas. But the perks of working at the airport is that you can get in the transit area and shop in the duty free! T3 really has the amazing airside area!
Surprise Claudia at the airport on her birthday! Great success cause she didnt suspect anything and didnt expect us to be there!
This girl act like it was her birthday.
Birthday girl!
Random lunch time @ work! Salmon Don at staff canteen for just $4.50.
Another perk - cheap food at staff canteen and staff discount!
My dinner on thurs cause I had to do OT and didnt want a fattening dinner so had potato Q and carrot cake to go along with my hk drama!
Friday night with the boy cause work was halfway then we had to back to school to meet our sip supervisor.
Friday was good.
Party people on saturday night @ Phuture
This pretty much sums up my whole week. Here it goes again, monday all over and I am almost one month through my internship!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Keep a open mind to everything
Fridays means one week down for my internship. So far work seems good except that I keep wanting to sleep while counting the passenger every 5mins plus the environment there - cold and quiet (at times).
Departure level at T1.
By end of the month I shall cover all the flights in all the terminals.
Dinner at Nakhon again with the boyfriend after work! No queue plus we sat at the same exact place the first time I ate there! Same spot same position. The tom yum soup is spicy like anything but damn it was addictive!
Those people living in the east should totally give Nakhon a try especially if you are a fan of thai food!
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