One day job at Marina Bay Financial Centre. Easy job and easy money. Watched NDP Parade on screens and through the windows of the office. Actually I only paid attention to the fireworks. I was at the 45th level of the building. View is simply spectacular. Fireworks infront of me and spammed the camera for the pictures, some turn out to be pretty.

After work walked to MBS to meet my teammates. They never fail to put a smile on my face. Suppose to stay over and head the x pool in the morning but sigh, the sister decided to vomit blood. No stayover no swimming in the x pool. And the silly Mad took ALL the mini alcohol out and start snapping photos without knowing it will be charge once is move or taken out. Heng sai they didnt charge her. Ting rui doing 7 wonders. Worse nightmare. All in one national day. No projects on that day just all my happy people.

Including this boy of my.

"I realized that none of my great days in life matter without you. You’re the one I want next to me when my dreams come true. You’re the one I want next to me if they don’t. As long as I have you, nothing else matters."

But here I am and I can't seem to see straight
But I'm too numb to feel right now
And here I am watching the clock that's ticking away my time
I'm too numb to feel right now

Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right
And if I, I am through
It's all because of you
Just tonight

This week doesnt seem to past as fast, somehow. Drowning, camping in school lab to finish up projects. Another 2/3 of security down! Just a week later and I am officially done with all SIX projects. So much sleep and suffering I have lost over the month. Cant wait, cause then I have some space for breathing.

Meanwhile ;

• I got a one day temp job at MBFC! Miss working there.
• I am trying to think positive about people, school and everything.
• And two more weeks of 2.1 and I am fucking done and over with it. No words can explain how glad I am to get over this semester.

Been on the same page of my book for nearly 3 hours. Nothing seems to go in. Started playing the fb app maple story and is so cute!

Shall attempt to read through once and watch my PLL.

Life has been messy. My life has been messy. Everything everywhere, projects all half done, trust issues, girls' issues. Sometimes, I dont know who to trust. Sometimes you have to stand firm on your decision, you choose your own path. Follow your heart I guess?

Yesterday was really one hell of the day which I wont allow myself to repeat again. I love you, WC.

666th post; how do you get up from a all time low?

Miserable at its best now. The boy's friends spending more time with him than me. I been dating projects, been through a week without him. It sucks at least I am trying to get used to it. But fucking hell, not like he is in army already. Is like hot and cold.

Maybe I been expecting way too much. This carries on, I will never be satisfied. 27 more days before my first end sem paper. I will get this shit through.

Apart from school, still school. I barely got a life. They say 2.1 is hell, sure is indeed.

I am not okay with all that is going on right now, but we all have been through it, almost done already. All I can do is really just bear with it and survive this.

One thing that my boyfriend said that I should remember is that I can only rely on myself, it will benefit myself - sooner or later.

And I miss that boy so very much.

Last month of school but barely breathing.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to deal with my mood swings. I’m sorry if I get jealous and if I act childish sometimes. When I say that I’m ok, it means that all I want is a tight hug and somebody to talk to. I don’t want you to just be my boyfriend, I want you to be my best friend, my partner in crime and my shoulder to cry on. I know I am not perfect, I have a lot of flaws, but I promise to love you in every way that I can.

Talking to the moon, trying to get to you.

Fuck all this.

Currently: Eating on cereals + oreos + milk and watching Nine Lives of Chloe King

Stay home fridays and weekends.

Cause just tonight, I just really want to see you. All your attention on me and only me.

You are the one who I can really run to to share all my problems and more problems. You always listen to me and give me your advice.

Thank you for being here with me and for always listening my dear.

& the boy cooked for me and is been some time since he did.

I love you. <3

School on the other hand is fucked up. Tp is fucked up, IFM is fucked up. I am fucked. Then again, no use whining, projects wont magically do themselves. Swallow it done, just do it. Next few weeks done for presentations and more presentations. Swallow it down, suck it up.

Transformer的毛就叫 Transfer， Transformer的任务叫 Transmission， Transformer 的运动叫Transport， Transformer的妹妹叫 Transistor， Transformer的父母叫 Tranparent。

Hit the club for the first time, legally of course, and now I know why people go to clubs to sometimes, forget troubles.

Left kinda early cause me and my boy got squeeze like sardines. Crashed at his place without removing contacts and make up. Dirty but was really tired. He hugged me to sleep, is been so long since he did that. If every night could be like last night, if only.

And I miss that boy already.

Back to school and facing projects and dramas.

I know why you are afraid of 'things falling apart'. Because you've gained so much in the past few years/ months that you don't want to lose it. You find yourself treasuring and appreciating the people around you and you're afraid that they might not feel the same. They might not need you as much as you need them, or one day they just find someone better to replace you. Friendships or relationships.

My dear sexy wrote me this, is like you can read my mind even you are miles apart.

As the philosopher Janet Jackson once said "You dont know what you got till it's gone"' - In a relationship? You love her? She can cook, great in bed, holds your head when you're sad and laughs at all your lame ass jokes? However you can't help but wonder if maybe there might be someone better? Guess what sunshine, there ain't.

-Obnoxiousowl

It feels like everything going to fall apart and is not a good feeling at all.

Sometimes I dont know what to feel anymore.

If I just had 30hours in a day. No, shall not be greedy and ask for 36hours.

I would spend more time with the boyfriend.

I would spend more time on driving lesson to get it asap.

I would spend more time with the bed, catching up on my sleep.

I would spend more time to complete my projects and study for test.

I would spend more time to the facials to maintain my cui face.

Then again, is just a if. Back to reality people, 24hours a day.

Stuck at home the whole day with projects after projects. Fingers getting stiff from all the typing, clicking and rolling of the keyboard and the mouse.

Public speaking > Project Management ( Which was an epic fail cause i couldnt find anything!) > Financial > BCM

Maybe is quite productive, at least started on a few right?

"You know its always going to be like this, all your friendships are like this. Fuck distance, fuck time differences, fuck social networks. We're all going to be strangers again, eventually. In our lives, when people leave, they leave for good. They leave for the rest of the world and they never get the chance to come back because there's no one left to come back to. I'll see you one day, yes you might"

-KeyDough

"I think love is a useless word for descriptions these days. Love binds and pulls and tugs and shatters, breaks and stirs and murders and revives, all at once. Love is a word turned into a full stop in teenagers’ conversations, peppered all over to spice a bowl of bland sentence soup. Love is an excuse for not loving. Love is an inspiration for the most handsome things in the world. Love is a justification for the ugliest things in the world. Love is indefinable, yet has its place in every single dictionary, in probably every single language.

And I won’t be hypocritical; I’m one of these people who exploit the word like breaths of air. It’s almost like a hello and goodbye in every conversation. It’s a “hey Tim, bye Tim, I love you Tim.” kind of thing. Its things you say drunkenly to strangers, or things you say to people you don’t really care about at all. Yet you can wake up one morning, to the most beautiful face you know, and know that this was the one, this was the one for sure, this was the one that makes your heart want to describe colours that don’t exist and the one that makes you want to stop time as you kiss and you lose your head into a blind space.

And all you could offer is the same “I love you” you praised your mom as she packed you pbnj sandwiches for lunch.

I could say I loved you, and be right and wrong all at once. I could say I loved you, and then squeeze in a “but”, but that would be like drawing a bold line in permanent marker across a Mona Lisa painted in gold with rubies and diamonds embedded in the details. I could say I love you. I could mouth it. Write it down. Paint it on paper and etch it on trees. But no. I don’t love you. I will never say it and mean it.

I will show you."

— Nova Halle

Week 11 of school down. In the next few weeks, projects and assignments will be due, more pressure, more conflict, more stress, more hair loss. I am really tired of the girls drama. We all have differences and we are selfish no matter how much we think we are not. He is may be right, about some guys may be more mature then girls. in mentally. Does do we even put aside all those and let it go? Are we able to really forget it when we say we do? We are more likely to say fuck you. I do it too often, not sparing a though for others. And fuck myself for not doing that cause words hurts, esp those that we do not think twice. I am really mentally tired. Is there even such thing as too tired to be able to fall asleep?

Maybe, just maybe I want 2012 to be real. The world is such a cruel place, society is scary and judgmental. What have become of us? Such monsters. Sometimes, I really dont know who is actually not faking mask. Friends is indeed such a vague terms.

Negative thoughts aside because he says that I have too much negative stuff on my mind.

The boy never fail to surprise me. Even mini ones like calling me last minute saying that he us coming to my place for dinner. Yes I do want to always spend my free time with you and not my projects. I always want your attention. But I am trying to balance it all. Too much of something is unhealthy too. My dear, you been great. I am sorry if I have whine too much till it pisses you off and having to affect your mood just to deal with my issues. I guess I have been too insensitive, even after so long. When I say 'believe me, I am trying' I am really trying.

The normal boobs ( . )( . ), the silicone boobs ( + )( + ), the perfect boobs (o)(o) Some boobs are cold (^)(^), and some boobs belong to grandmothers \./\./ And let’s not forget the very large boobs (o Y o), and very small boobs (.)(.), and lastly the asymmetrical boobs (•)(.). We love them all!. Say ┌П┐(◉_◉)┌П┐ to breast cancer. Save the boobies!

“There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.”

One hell of the week. So many work undone. I am dying but hanging on. I can do this. I need constant reminders too.

Let this week be good, just let it be cause the next few weeks are the weeks that I am dreading.

Stay home Saturday equals to doing my assignments tutorials and projects. I feel so accomplish right now.

So results can totally suck my invisible dick. So much for studying my ass off, so much for studying. So much for nothing. Projects also can go suck dick. Seriously. Fuck all this shit.

On the brighter side, I watch Transformers 3 today and it was fucking the bomb! Two and a half hours totally worth it. The actions was just simply awesome, graphics and Josh Duhamel. Bumble Bee gets more handsome each movie. Is just a pity the Megan Fox is out.

In 16mins time marks the end of June, half a year just went by.

Things that matter right now:

Mama

My boyfriend

Friends

School and projects - Fucking 5 projects on hand, my course is way to awesome!

That is all. I am not going to try and put in effort to go for trainings anymore. Yes, giving it up for the next few weeks. You dont care anyway, really. It does not matter much. I dont make a difference. Till date, yes I still regret quitting Touch. Shall suck it all up, what is done cant be undone. Suck it up Abrie, I just need to pull my grades up and not let my GPA drop again.

I have only 6hours of sleep before lesson starts later on. Three consecutive long school hours, I will survive this!

The boy came over just now for dinner and little chat. Is just sweet when I could lay on chest and forget about school work fro that little while. You're such a sweetie pie.

Been watching White Collar and Matt Bomer is such a hot stuff. He reminds me of Ian Somerhalder. Both guys are just so charming. Last episode to complete season 2! Four days two seasons.

Second day of school and we have received 5 different projects, life's great!

Going to have my very first driving lesson tomorrow, I am excited for it!

Spent one whole day with the boy, overnight mj and cuddling together while watching tv. I am really enjoying time spent with him.

Count your blessings my dears.

Tried Genki Sushi at Orchard Central today and is way too cool. Order your sushi from the ipad and they deliver your sushi through a train! Totally awesome technology! Food delivered fast, plus is a monday so no crowd, no need to wait!

Till now I am still full from all the sushi!

Caught kung fu panda 2 with the boyfriend too! Is hilarious! Pandas are way too cute, one fat blop of fats.

Thanks for tolerating my nonsense today, been so bitchy. Still love you k, my dear.

Really enjoying the holidays so far and I like it. Dont want to go back to school.

Brought my baby sissy out to the pool today! First time in the pool, no crying but she enjoyed a lot! I like her chinese name btw, Huang Xue En. Only nine months old but she knows how to clap hands, wave goodbye, a almost thank-kiss, dance and call 'jie jie'.

Adorable to the max.

And passed my final theory today!

Will be taking my final theory test tomorrow, rather later on. Failure is not a option but sigh, i just started reading the book like two days before hand, hopefully, praying hard I will pass. I need to anyw.

Emotional roller coaster ride two days back and I couldnt be much happier that we are back on track. Hearing those words from you really made feel like I been acting like a selfish bitch, a paranoid one too. I love you, Mr Seow Wei Chong.

Tanning with @lipstouched at safra just yesterday. Wanted to go to Sentosa but I was too lazy to wake up to head all the way down there.So budget tanning at safra, not much people though! Except the chicken backside uncle.

Plan kinda fail, drizzle in the morning and grey skies. Plus didnt really got tan. Stayed for two hours then grabbed lunch at burger king, onion rings and chocolate sundae izzzz awesome after baking under the sun and 6 laps.

Finally a mini shopping fest with @lipstouched!

Went over to sunshine plaza for some wonton mee and orgasmic chocolate muffin! Walk like a thousand miles, dg > somerset > ion > fep > somerset. Legs machiam jelly so decided to get a drink at coffeebean for some ♥ to ♥ talks

Cause I think I have the best mama. Did a little shopping at Nex with her earlier today. Got my rings and trim my brows, she did hers too. Durian pancake and pontian wontan mee. Shiokness. And tomorrow heading out with my cousin for some bitchy gossips.

Marks my two week holiday, FTT on the 17th which I have yet to study for. I dont want to fail FTT, so embarrassing if i did right?

I liked when my fingers were entangled in yours, and my head was on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. It made me feel safe, like at that moment, nothing bad could touch me. I wish I could stay in your arms forever.

Gorgeous.

She said that she wanted to get high. He took her to the tallest hill in town. She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink. He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said “drink up.” She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face. He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger. She said that she wanted to cut herself. He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up. She said that she wanted to see her blood. He took her to get her ears pierced. She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep. He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed. She said that she wanted to be alone. He gave her a name tag that said “My name is: Alone.” She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always. He asked when he wasn’t.

I miss those times where @sharonishungry calls me randomly and we could talked over an hour.

I miss those times where we just hang out at siglap starbucks.

I miss having my best friend around.

I miss going out with her.

I miss texting her telling I saw someone/thing we always make fun of.

Hi sharon ng qian yi, I miss you.

I am jealous of people who have their best friend around, with them.

&of course keith cause he always the one taking the initiative.

It was one of those moments, standing there in my PJs with my hair all messed up, just rolled out of bed. He looked at me with those eyes that dont lie and that smile that fills the whole room and said 'you're so cute'

This boy of mine so ever thoughtful. Bought and cook all my fav food in one whole big pot. Ba chor, meatballs, tofu, golden shroom, quail eggs. Mixed all together but it really good! Well, made and serve with love. When I asked for help, you told me to be in charge of eating. And nothing beats home cook meal especially if you been craving it for so long! And I think you been really thoughtful and loving recently. I love you.

We will always find a way to get back to each other. Thank you for always listening to me when I just needed to vent. And for hearing my silence.

I rather snuggle with you on the bed, stare at you when you sleep and hear your snores. Cute that way.

DON'T START AN ARGUMENT JUST TO SEE HOW MUCH THEY CARE

There is this new thing where others just feel irritated by insecure people instead of feeling sorry for them. You see, we all have insecurities and we all have different ways in nurturing (yes nurturing) them. So if you want to pick a fight just so they can send you message after message going, 'Whats wrong?' or 'Are you OK?' therefore making you feel wanted and desired then you need to sit the fuck down and figure out what will make you happy and sort your life out.

-obnoxiousowl

Been having a meal a day lately. And I kinda like it, watching my diet.

Stress adds on, my appetite like dropping too?

5modules and I dont know much about anything. Is like jack of all trades master of none. Totally describes me.

#ifmsucks

Had the most filling dinner of my entire 18th life. Sakae buffet was the bomb, literally. Ate till I puked the ice cream out, for the first time.

So, term tests is like a couple of days away only. Panic mode on much?